The things we can and cannot control

There was a time in my life when I used to make a big fuss over almost everything that seemed out of my control. I would get so angry and frustrated at the people and/or situations that pushed me out of the control seat. I felt powerless, small, defeated and often unjustified in those situations. I was seldom caught in misery. Because of the powerlessness caused by my lack of control on certain situations, a piece of my self-esteem and self-confidence would melt away every time.

What we often forget is the fact that there are things we can control and things we cannot control. We always want to be in control, when we are not it feels like we are in a sinking ship. We always want things to be our way and to go our way. Life seems to be against us at the slightest loss of control. We beat ourselves up or blame the other person when things go out of our control.

One thing I have learnt is that you cannot control another person. You cannot control what they say, what they think, what they believe or what they do. You can control yourself. You can control what you say, what you think, what you do. How another person speaks, thinks or acts is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to control yourself, how you speak and act.

All your relationships have one thing in common, you. How can you make the situation better?

Accept the things you cannot control and find a way forward. Do your best with the things you can control.

Death is inevitable; when a loved one dies, there is so much that we wish we could have done to prevent the death or to save the loved one, but deep down we know that we cannot control death. Acceptance is the first step to healing and dealing with the things you cannot control.

It is a sunny day and you are outside, wearing clothing suitable to the weather. It rains suddenly and the coldest wind starts blowing. Are you going to continue sitting outside in your summer outfit and complain, cry, get angry at the weather and freeze to death or are you going to go inside the house and wear warmer clothing? Whatever option you chose, the rain will continue to pour and the wind will continue to blow. If you chose the second option, you would have at least kept away from the cold and rain.

Do your best with the things you can control. How can you make the situation better?

Know the things you can and cannot control.

Take care.