Self-pity, victim mindset

Why me? I am the unluckiest person on Earth. I blame them for all that is happening in my life. I was once trapped in the cyclic cloud of habitual self-pitying and victim mindset. Not only was I in an unchanging state of hopelessness, but I also grew pessimistic. My mind was always gyrating negative thoughts and theories. I saw faults in everything and anything. The world was against me. I was against myself. Nothing seemed to be working in my favor. Poor me, I would think, I do not deserve any of this. I became attached to my suffering. All of a sudden, being the victim seemed enticing and mundane.

There are quite a few incidents and situations that have led me to question my existence. There have been a few glitches that have shaken my inner core and spilt almost all my hope and light. There are circumstances which have pulled me to the dark corner of sorrow, people who I had cast the blame on.

Day by day, the more I dwelled on those things, the quicker my brokenness. The more I thought about those things, the more my joy seeped out. The more I dwelled on those things, the faster my strength would go. The more I thought about those things, the weaker my determination became.

I was as bitter. I was angry. I was frustrated. I was engulfed by all these negative emotions and thoughts. I was a negativity booming machine. Negativity seemed to be following me, through all these undesired happenings.

I changed it all.

Self -reflection: “The activity of thinking about your own feelings and behavior, and the reasons that may lie behind them” (Dictionary, 2021).

Gratitude: “The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness” (Dictionary, 2021).

The biggest changers of my mindset were self-reflection and daily gratitude. I self reflected almost every day in my mind or on my journal. I would write down everything I was grateful for (even the small things) in my journal. My mood and attitude changed tremendously each time I would practice those things. Positivity slowly crept back in my life.

I gradually changed my mindset from one of self-pity and victim, to the growth mindset. The growth mindset takes whatever situation you are in and turns it into a lesson or an opportunity. An example is failure, when using the growth mindset, you see failure as an opportunity to grow.

It takes time for the transition to happen, but it will happen. And when it does happen you will just know.

To everyone who suffers or suffered from the victim mindset or self-pitying, or anyone reading. I hope that through sharing my own experiences I have helped you a bit, and steered up some hope amongst the chaos.

Take care.